Saturday, June 25, 2011

Coffee, Tea, or He? (Richmond, VA)

Maybe it's the blare of salsa music in small spaces. Perhaps it's genetic. Or it could be that the passage of time has affected my inner ear-ways. Be that as it may, I am definitely experiencing a bit of hearing loss. While you may think that this is something negative, I am finding that, at least at times, it makes life more entertaining.

I'm in Starbucks, ordering a cup of Joe. "I'll have a tall, dark, and handsome," I joke with the gray-haired woman behind the counter.

"With a six pack or without?" she counters.

"I'm not a beer drinker," I respond.

"That's not what I meant," she says.

"I know."

Then, as I'm turning to walk away, she asks, "Do you scream?"

I do an Exorcist-inspired neck whip-around. "Huh?!"

"Do you scream?"

"Wha-a-a-t?" I'm taken aback and aforth -- shocked into wide-eyed confusion.

She looks me in the wider eye and repeats the question, in that loud, exaggerated, and over-enunciated way people usually reserve for berating disobedient children or explaining something to someone who doesn't speak English: "DO YOU USE CREAM?"

The answer, when I'm able to stop laughing and start breathing again, is: "Yes."

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