Sunday, June 13, 2010

Do You Follow Me? (Richmond, VA)

I don't have many (admitted) followers -- you 12 wonderful people know who you are -- on this blog (which I just typed as "flog"), and you guys (if you are even reading this) are not very vocal. What I mean to write is that you don't talk or write back much, if ever.

So, I'm feeling somewhat amazed that, although they don't list themselves as followers, I seem to have developed a somewhat dedicated group of Korean readers. They comment on virtually every entry I post, and although my Google translations of their reactions are at best, thought-provoking and perhaps even philosophical, and at worst, utterly nonsensical, I am pleased and proud to know that someones, somewhere out in cyberspace, are responding to my prose.

I mention this to my son and add that, for some mysterious reason, the Korean comments have disappeared -- leaving only my responses to them. He bursts the bubble of my disillusions. "Mom, that's just spam," he tells me, eyes rolling at my unbelievable naivete.

Now, what you need to know is that my son, as is true of others of his age and generation, as well as of most people alive today, is completely at ease with every possible form of technology, even those that are yet to be invented.

I, on the other hand, am an anachronism. I am still afraid of breaking my laptop or PC every time I turn them on. Computer languages, when I made the mistake of trying to study one (COBOL????) years ago, were Geek to me. To this day, "byte" conjures up a misspelled word referring to snacking or dental problems. "Bit" means little to me, whether or not it refers to computers. I don't understand the concepts behind the internet, the ether net, or how or if any network works.

If you think all this is strange and pathetic, I'm going to make my lack of knowledge and skills even more apparent by admitting the following: I've never learned how to use the DVD player or VCR; now I can't even remember how to operate the TV. (Excuse/rationalization: I'm rarely home and would rather read than watch television or movies when I am. Give me a good book or allow me to go to sleep.)

Given my total lack of technological savvy, I suspect that someone, perhaps the Head of Acquisitions for Ripley's Believe It or Not Museum, will some day request and taxiderm my body -- after or before I die. He or she will, no doubt, post several signs around me in the exhibition, in which I will be posed, brow-furrowed, shoulders shrugging, elbows bent, arms ending in upturned palms. The signs will read: LAST PERSON ON EARTH TO NEVER GET TECHNOLOGY; DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO TEXT; STILL USES A CAMERA WITH FILM; NOT ON FACEBOOK; and ??????????.

Whether or not you visit my shell in the museum, please try to understand that I find the very idea of blogging incredibly intimidating, the thought of sharing my outermost thoughts (surely you don't believe that I would tell you everything when I might not even know you, whether or not you live in Korea) challenging, strange, and scary. If you're really out there, please let me know. Preferably, in English.